I'm just trying to write my club talk for this Friday.
I need to make a confession.
I don't feel like I should be telling other people about God.
I feel like I would be a hypocrite.
not that I don't believe in Him and love him. I do. I'm just hardly ever praying or reading my Bible except to do a club talk. That doesn't seem good enough.
it's not good enough,
I know I'm not good enough.
the funny thing is i felt this way two weeks ago for my first club of the year. but God in his grace still blessed the evening, the leaders and my talk.
i'm just not feeling it lately
i'm not living out my faith
i'm not on fire for God right now
but i also can't do anything without Him,
so its kinda leaving me a mess.
i don't know what's wrong with me i just dont' feel like it, don't feel like praying, don't feel like reading the bible.
but i still think God is teaching me something.
that it's not up to me, it's up to Him.
it's not how much i try or read or pray, it's his only his strength
even when i'm being a "bad kid" giving my daddy the silent treatment He still turns to me with love, patience and grace. It's unbelievable.
I'm so thankful that He doesn't give up easily
"A bruised reed he will not break and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out" Matt. 12:20
God thank you so much that you don't snuff out smoldering wicks. thank you that you still use imperfect, messed up people to tell others about you. please help me not to pretend i'm perfect, but to be honest about my struggles and maybe someone else who feels the same way will be encouraged that they're not alone. God i want to shine brightly for you, but thank you that when the light is dim You are still there and can work things together for your glory. In my weakness you are strong.
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Did you write that or copy it from somewhere?
ReplyDeleteLove ya Becca! Danielle
Becca,
ReplyDeleteThis post was perfect. I love it when people are REAL. Let's face it, life is tough. In today's society we are trained to hide our troubles, act like we have everything under control, and live a "perfect" life.
One of the things that I love is when people open up, confess things they are going through, and ask for prayers. We all go through hardships and ultimately we need God but we also need each other.
To be honest, since graduating at Calvin I have really struggled with the question: "Where is God?" I felt I could go days without him and be fine and yet looking back I realize He was there all along. Do I do devotionals/read my bible right now? No. Am I really passionate about my faith right now? Not really. However, it is REALIZING that and then acting on it.
Praying for you as you are challenged with your faith. Praying too that you just take one day at a time and LIVE it, just enjoying God. Praying too for that little one inside you...I loved watching the latest videos on your website, you are looking great.
K-long post...haha-but love you lots! Give John and Bethany a big hug from me:)
Thanks Julia, it feels good to be real, it feels like it lets God in too.
ReplyDeleteYa this all my thoughts and stuff Danielle! Just getting it out!
Thanks for reading it guys, and for caring!!!